When Spiders Attack
by lissy303
Summary: It's a little silly when a seasoned Warden who has dealt with hundreds of darkspawn, bandits, and countless other monsters can't handle a spider. Granted, they are giant spiders that fall from the ceiling randomly...


_A/N: Some silliness and lightheartedness. So the first time a giant spider popped out of nowhere, I literally squealed and proceeded to hit every button on my controller until I accidentally brought up my inventory. I had to sit there for a minute and calm myself down before I brought the game back up to kill the damn thing. Morrigan was the one to deal the final blow that fight. Which is kinda ironic, considering she can shape-shift into a bloody spider. I __**hate**__ spiders. We don't get along well… at all, really. I thought I'd share that fear with Elissa, and what she would do when the party first encounters those stupid creatures. Blech… bring on the darkspawn any time._

_Disclaimer: Same stuff as always, not mine!_

The Deep Roads were terrible.

Switch out the word for any of its synonyms: horrific, frightening, grueling… the list was endless. But it wasn't just what the Deep Roads were that was so appalling. Of course they were where the darkspawn were created and hid during times of peace. The disgusting creatures seemed to pop out of every corner, every turn. Alistair had probably killed more darkspawn since venturing into the Deep Roads than he had since he became a Grey Warden.

The real issue, at least in Alistair's mind, was what the Deep Roads represented. Grey Wardens came here to die. He was walking in the grave of his brothers. He often wondered if the skeletons he saw pushed off to the side of their path were once the men of his order. Since joining the ranks of the Grey Wardens, Alistair knew that, one day, he would venture down here himself, killing as many monsters as he could before the nightmares claimed his life. Better to die with your sword in your hand than by the poison running through your veins. He always thought that it would be years in the future, after he made some sort of life for himself, or at least made some sort of impact on the world. If he died today, even though he and his companions made much progress in gaining allies against the Blight, all their work would be for naught.

It didn't help that the Deep Roads were miles underground, either.

Alistair couldn't understand how the dwarves could possibly stand looking up and not seeing the sky. He felt that his breaths were numbered, that eventually all the air in the cavern would run out and they would all suffocate.

The darkspawn weren't even the only monsters down here. Every once in a while, a giant spider would drop down from above and attack. Alistair was often relieved that spiders were attacking them instead of the darkspawn; the vile creatures were much more difficult to fight than the eight-legged monsters. Morrigan and Oghren seemed to agree, though Alistair was certain that Elissa did not.

Alistair was surprised at her reaction the first time they were attacked by spiders. Elissa could cut through darkspawn, thieves, and other monsters alike with no fear. In fact, she was quite a fearsome sight to be seen after completing a battle, usually covered in blood and gore, strong and proud after a victory. During a battle, her eyes blaze in fury, her swords swing about and slice through everything in their way. But the first time a spider appeared, she was reduced to a panicking young girl who squealed and tried to run away. Between Morrigan's freezing spell and Oghren's axe, the lone spider was no worry. Alistair was far more concerned with Elissa's fearful reaction. Granted, the spider did nearly land on her head. But various other enemies attacked by surprised, and she never had that reaction.

Once she calmed herself down enough, she embarrassingly explained how afraid of spiders she was. Oghren seemed to have lost confidence in her leadership, Morrigan smiled her condescending smile, but Alistair thought it was… _cute_. That probably wasn't the best word to describe how he felt, but of all the horrific, terrifying things that were being thrown at them, the fact that she was still afraid of spiders was just adorable. And slightly funny.

They continued through an open cavern, hairs standing on end. Elissa cautiously led the way, occasionally glancing up to spot any falling enemies. Alistair was just about to make a smart comment to ease his love's mind, when indeed; a monster spider fell to the ground to his right.

Each of the party members drew their weapons, but they were quickly surrounded by these gruesome creatures. Alistair caught site of Elissa, who was flailing more than fighting, but he couldn't get away from his own spider to go to her aid. Hastily, he swung his sword until he luckily made contact with the spider's underbelly. Turning towards Elissa, he began to distract a spider that was closing in on her from behind.

Elissa stared up at the giant spider before her. She thought the darkspawn would be the most terrifying things she ever saw, but this was worse. Much, _much_ worse. All of her training left her mind as she swiped at the monster before her, but her arms were growing heaving from the extra effort she was making. Tears stung her eyes, blurring her vision, as she backed up away from the spider. Just when she thought she couldn't hold her swords anymore, a rush of cold blew by her shoulder and encompassed the spider. With the last of her strength, Elissa drew her swords above her head and swung them down through the spider's skull.

Looking around, she saw the bodies of the dead spiders surrounding her companions, and, luckily, none of them seemed injured, even that startled. She rested her elbows on her knees and bent over, trying to calm her rapid breathing. When she looked up again, she saw Alistair giving her a knowing smirk. She growled at him, not really in the mood for his teasing. She knew Alistair loved her and meant no harm, but as the adrenaline was leaving her body, she didn't think she could handle any sarcastic remarks.

"Morrigan," she gasped, standing up a bit straighter. "You are officially my favorite person. Ever."

"Hey!" Alistair cried indignantly. Morrigan chuckled, amused by Alistair's shock.

"Alistair, next time, you can save my ass from a bloody spider, and not be so damned sarcastic about it."

Morrigan let out a laugh. "I've surpassed your lover-boy in gaining your favor? My, my, Alistair, what do you have to say about that?" She turned to Elissa, an evil look in her eye as her lips curled up into a smirk.

Elissa realized what was going through her mind almost instantaneously. "Oh, no no no, Morrigan. I swear, if you transform into a bloody spider right now, I…" She thought hard about what she would do. Sighing in defeat, she finished: "I will just sit down here and cry. Don't tempt me. You know I will."

Alistair laughed as he put an arm around his lover's waist. Planting a kiss on the side of her head, he said, "Come, love. The sooner we find this missing Branka the sooner we can have the open sky again. And a bath. You have some spider bits in your hair, you know."

Alistair continued to laugh as Elissa jumped about, shaking her head and body to and fro to get rid of whatever was left from those nasty monsters. If Elissa could simply still be afraid of spiders during this time, then there was still hope for the rest of the world.


End file.
